Thais Hamilton

Misogynoir Worksheet

Name: _________________________ Date: _________________
Race: __________________________ Gender: _______________

Misogynoir Worksheet

This worksheet focuses on exercises that help you imagine what it’s like to go through life as a Black American woman. If you are a Black woman or a Black assigned-female-at-birth (AFAB) person, please assist your coworkers in these exercises. Your help is greatly appreciated.

What is misogynoir?

Misogynoir: The specific misogyny faced by Black women or perceived Black women. The peculiar intersection of racism and gender places Black women as the most disrespected and humiliated members of American society. Their femininity is discredited, and their non-fair skin and African features devalue them. Black men, despite sharing ancestry with Black women, perpetuate the ills of patriarchy to maintain a form of control over their female counterparts. This leaves Black women without a reliable male counterpart to survive a system built on exploitation. The American “meritocracy” keeps Black women at the bottom.

Exercise One:

For this exercise, imagine yourself as a Black woman or a Black assigned-female-at-birth (AFAB) person.

If you’re a non-Black woman or AFAB person, don’t darken your skin, but conceal yourself in a dark room away from others and speak. You have likely concluded that you won’t be heard, so don’t be afraid to shut the door. Let the blackness cloak you and allow empathy toward Black women to enter your heart. After twenty minutes conversing with the uncaring void, turn on the light, and write down your experience below.

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Have you run out of room to air your grievances? Don’t worry about it, and bottle those feelings up. The fact that you’ve been given a space to articulate your feelings is already a privilege that many Black women lack. The injustice you feel whipped you with a level of bitterness, like 99%-cacao dark chocolate. Unconsumable, and yet you must swallow it and be satisfied. You can go ahead and express your sorrow at the injustice Black women experience to your Black female coworker(s) and vow to her that you’ll be a better ally.

Stand by for the following exercise…

If you’re a man, head to the bottom floor of the building you’re in, enter the darkest room, shut the door, don’t turn on the lights, and whisper. After you’ve been ignored for ten minutes, you can scream for the remaining ten. Fair warning, screaming won’t help, but maybe if you keep it up, someone will eventually hear you. And when they do, they’ll cuss you out and lock the door. The frustration building in your lungs will gnaw at you, and you’ll wail louder at the door that won’t unlock for another five minutes. After your fruitless hollering, write down how you felt below.

________________________ This is all you get. Why so short? Even this much is already a privilege that Black women aren’t allowed. Let that sink in and return to the office space dedicated to this session. Please speak with your Black female coworker(s), express how much you appreciate her, and vow to be a better ally.

For the Men Who Decline to Participate

As a non-participant, you probably have a question burning in your sore throat. Why doesn’t the woman or AFAB participant need to head to the lowest level? Because all individuals socialized as women, even those who pretend society is a meritocracy, already know what it’s like to be an afterthought.

For those men who wish to empathize with Black women, you won’t receive a thank you for your effort because women are never thanked for the emotional labor they provide you. Remember, this is just an exercise, and the insensitive sentiment is temporary.

Adjusted Exercise One:

Head to the lowest level of the building you reside in. Enter the darkest room, but only close the door partially. Speak softly, and perhaps your words will be heard—but pray to be ignored, or be ready to be blamed for an aspect of societal failure.

While you’re ignored, you may experience crying, emotional/physical/mental anguish, shortness of breath, dizziness, untreated trauma, apathy from the people around you, sexual assault, guilt for being assaulted, violence upon oneself, and an atmosphere of hatred that wraps around your neck and squeezes. After twenty minutes, turn on the lights and write down your experience below.

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Please express your feelings to your Black female coworker(s) and confirm to them that you’ll be a better ally in the future.

Exercise Two:

For this exercise, you’ll choose what type of Black American woman you’ll be.

Once again, if you’re a Black woman or AFAB person, please assist your coworkers in their journey to better empathize with you. As a non-Black woman, you may be confused by this question. Aren’t I just me? You are, but you aren’t when you’re a Black woman. Who you are is determined by society, and there are limited costumes for Black women. Choices are in short supply, and the further away one is from White, cisgender male, heterosexual, heteroromantic, able-bodied, and wealthy, the fewer choices one gets.

Our current society could evolve into a more egalitarian system, but that would require dismantling the prevailing system and lead to racial sensitivity workshops, like this one, becoming obsolete. However, given that Earth’s dramatic weather changes haven’t brought about the necessary gear shifts, active systematic changes are unlikely to happen—ensuring this workshop will continue as a band-aid solution. Back to the types of Black women to choose from.

You can be:

1. The Sassy Black Woman: fatness is included, but not necessary. You’re a funny sidekick who only exists to have trendy one-liners loop the internet for a week.

2. The Angry Black Woman: scowling mouth is painted on, and your hand is pinned to your hip. Your voice is always raised just short of a yell, and even when you’re not angry, you are. Your anger is illegitimate and is made powerless—a jab to silence you.

3.(New) The Twerking Black Woman: what do you need a face for? You’re just a piece of ass. A dance form that was originally an expression of the body, reduced to consumption for everyone else. A faceless sexual object whose identity doesn’t matter.

4.The Intellectual Black Woman: the desk comes with the role, but your authority and competence will be challenged by your social betters, even when there’s no question of your qualifications. Your social betters are everyone who isn’t a Black woman or AFAB person.

5. The Black Woman with Attitude: is there a Black woman who doesn’t have one? Even when you’re being polite, you come off as uppity. You should be silent and not offend those around you with your opinions. Even taking up space is considered rude at times.

6. The Sexless Black Woman: when your body can’t be used for the sexual pleasure of others, you don’t need your sexuality. Your body is made to serve others in an inoffensive and unattractive way. Originally known as The Mammy, but the name has been retired.

7. The Sexually Available Black Woman: the ending of slavery doesn’t negate you from being available at all times. Even as a girl, you’re perceived as an adult and are ready to be used. Originally called The Jezebel, but that name is now retired.

8. The Dead Black Woman: you’re useful for others to gain political points or to be ignored altogether because society doesn’t care about you. Dead Black female bodies will reach the height of a mountain before they’re considered useful. The dead can’t defend themselves, and the only consistent group that cares for dead Black women are living Black women.

9. (New) The Nerdy Black Woman: you’re a unicorn. You claim there are nerdy Black women, but society has doubts. Nerdy things like cartoons, anime, comics, manga, video games, etc. only appeal to Black men. And as a Black woman, you find those things uncool. There’s no such thing as a real nerdy Black woman. Most likely, you’re stealing space in nerd culture and will leave when it’s no longer a cool trend.

10. (New) The Alternative Black Woman: you’re a pegasus. You supposedly exist in alternative communities, but you’re likely just there to add a face of diversity. You’re restricted to “Black People Approved” communities. Otherwise, you’re there to prove the alternative community isn’t completely racist because you’re there in the photo’s corner, nearly cut out.

Explain to your Black female coworker(s) what Black woman stereotype you’ll be. Write down any questions you have to portray your chosen stereotype respectfully.

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Now that you’ve picked the type of Black woman you’ll be, stand in a space related to your chosen stereotype and voice your opinion or express yourself nonverbally. When you’re shoved aside, mouth out your complaints. When you don’t receive an apology, try advocating for yourself. And when you’re trampled, attempt to stand again. You’ll get pushed down and spit upon, but don’t give up. Your only other option is to lie down and be another body for the foundation of the United States of America.

Please write down your experience and share it with your Black female coworker(s). Be sure to express your ignorance of the hostility in these spaces and how you’ll make sure to be welcoming to Black women while you’re in these spaces.

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Exercise Three:

Multiple Choice.

You’re at the doctor’s office for a check-up; how do you behave?

A. Ask to speak with your doctor directly.

B. Explain to the caretaker how your health has been.

C. Ask clarifying questions about your health.

D. Express your feelings towards your medication. Positive and negative.

You’re on an online community forum, and several members made you uncomfortable; how do you respond?

A. Notify a moderator through a private message.

B.. Defend yourself against the aggressor, leading you to block them.

C. Ignore your harassers and leave the forum.

D. Take a break from the forum and air your grievances somewhere else.

You’re debating how a collaborative project should proceed, and a coworker dismisses your input; what’s your retort?

A. Look to your other coworkers for support.

B. Mentally regroup and confront your rude coworker.

C. Withhold your grievances and report to your superior or HR.

D. Choke back your disappointment and continue being disrespected.

Discuss your choices with your Black female coworker(s) and have them explain the futility of finding the “correct option” to engage or disengage in any of these scenarios. Write down your takeaways below.

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Exercise Four:

Would you live as a Black woman or AFAB person?

Your answer is no. There’s no reason for you to write your answer. A non-Black woman wouldn’t choose to live as a Black woman. Please, don’t feel guilty. Black women are well aware that no one wants to be in their place.

Now that you’ve cosplayed as a Black woman, how was your experience? Please leave your insights below.

Thank you for participating, but your experience while playing pretend isn’t necessary to write down. Black women and AFAB people don’t need your insight into their daily lives. What you’ve learned is just the first step to addressing misogynoir. Your participation in these exercises will hopefully encourage awareness of society’s shortcomings. If not, that’s not surprising.

Thais (she/her/and they when the mood strikes) is an African American writer. She graduated from the University of California, Riverside, with a BA in Creative Writing and Cum Laude honors. She has a prose poem in Wingless Dreamer Publishers’ poetry anthology “Same Sky, Different Stories.” When not engrossed in writing or reading, Thais listens to Goth music. Their current favorite artists are Madeline Goldstein and Ghost Cop.

Banner Art:
Pauline Powell Burns, Violets, ca.1890, National Museum of African American History & Culture

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